Having recently turned 23 years old, my age has been on my mind a little. I don’t feel that old — in fact, I’m always around people in their thirties or older since I work at schools all the time. But I feel like, at 23, I’m supposed to have my life together, and be… suave, or something.
And I sure don’t feel like that at all.
Every day at work, I’m surrounded by 30-somethings or older, and I always feel weirdly beneath them, kind of insecure. That may sound stupid, so allow me to explain why.
They have so much more life experience than me.
Not to call you old if you’re thirty, but seriously, you’ve got a minimum of seven years on me and I always hear such great stories from your twenties, the time in life which I am currently living. 30-somethings always seem to have done so much already! Here I am sitting with my kitten writing a blog, working an in-between job, which I don’t even want. Can I have your life experience already, please?!
They exude confidence that I don’t have.
Okay, I’m sure you can judge by the way that I write that I’m fairly confident in myself and my beliefs, but compared to them 30-somethings, I’m a pretty big mess. They physically carry themselves differently, they dress differently, even talk with confidence that I wish I had. It makes such a big difference as a teacher. I know that I look young for my age, and that definitely doesn’t help me. I can’t even pretend to be as confident as they are when my face gives my age away!
They know what they want.
At least from what I’ve seen. With that confidence, they are so sure of what they are doing that I wonder when I will ever get to that level of certainty. Seriously, I feel like it’s going to take me forever to figure myself out…
They are successfully adulting.
They have a place they own (with the furniture they want), financial stability, a stable circle of friends, and… a life. They know how to cook, do their taxes, negotiate, work full-time, and manage their time to somehow fit it all in and have free time. (How in the hell?!) They’ve done everything I’m learning to do right now already. I mean, how much more minuscule could I feel?!
They are okay with permanence.
I don’t think I have commitment issues, seeing as I’ve been dating G for nearly four years now, but the thought of permanency scares the shit out of me. How is everybody already getting married at my age?! (I love you G, but no thanks!) Every 30-something I know has already dealt with their travel bug or party years and they’re settling down. What does that even mean?! I don’t want adulthood to mean I can’t have fun anymore, but honestly that’s what it looks like — and all the thirty-somethings I see are okay with this. How?!
So that’s why I feel so bloody insecure around all these 30-somethings.
What about you? Do 30-somethings make you feel insecure? Are you a 30-something that thinks I need to just shut up? Let me know in a comment below!