Geez, this was hard to write.
This post was written in collaboration with Marisa Peters at Stream and Stone YEG, as part of the Love Yourself campaign that Edmonton’s Sweet Jolie boutique is doing. You can follow Marisa on Instagram to find more Love Letter posts from fellow Edmonton bloggers.
On to my letter…
Dear Seventeen-Year-Old Me,
Before I say anything else, you need to hear this: I love you.
You’re going to be okay.
Not too long ago, you were full of excitement: about life, about the future, about love, and yes, about sex.
But you’ve had that excitement ripped from you.
You bled your confusion and your loss.
You shed your confidence, for years and years.
You are numb.
You are lost.
You are confused.
You are desperate.
For love. For validation.
For reassurance that you made the right choice.
One day, you’ll realize that it was not your choice.
It was not your choice at all.
And you must know this:
There is nothing you can do about it.
Even then, there was nothing you could do about it.
It was not your fault.
For years, you will not believe that.
You won’t even realize that you don’t.
And when you realize that it isn’t your fault, people will tell you that it is.
Don’t listen to them.
Because remember that excitement?
You won’t lose it for long.
You will embrace what happens to you.
While it isn’t who you are,
it will help make you who you are.
You are strong.
You will feel lost, being someone you didn’t know wasn’t you.
You won’t even know you were lost until you have begun to find yourself again.
But you are strong.
You are powerful.
You have a voice.
No one can silence it.
So don’t live your life to make others happy.
Do what makes you happy.
It’s true that you are going to face more difficulty than you can probably imagine right now.
In fact, a lot of it you wouldn’t believe even if I told you.
It won’t be easy.
And it will hurt.
You’ll ask yourself how things came to be the way that they are,
and that probably won’t stop.
But you will discover yourself all over again,
even after all of the hurt.
You need things to be the way they are.
Without them, you wouldn’t find the person you truly are.
And you will.
So no regrets.
Own your life.
Own who you are,
because it’s you.
you will learn to love yourself.
And yes… you’ll always cringe at cheesiness.
Your Future Self
How will you love yourself today?