You know all those weird myths about queer people that really dehumanize them and make them seem alien? I thought I’d give you a nice lighthearted post this week, something a bit more fun… so I decided to break some of those down.
Let’s break some stereotypes people!
1. Queer people just know when someone else is queer.
This is something I was told as a kid, words that came out of the mouths of adults in my life.
It’s 100% false.
In fact, queer people are constantly trying to figure out whether any given person is queer or straight! Seriously. #thestruggleisreal
I mean, think about it. If you were queer, and you lived in a world where straight is the default, “normal” way to be, what would you do?
You’d look at pretty people and wonder whether they’re straight or not.
That’s our reality.
(And then when we go for it and we’re wrong… well, that’s always fun.)
2. Bisexual people are just indecisive or selfish gay people.
In the words of Donald Trump: WRONG. (I’m so sorry for quoting him… forgive me?)
You don’t have to be one or the other, and bisexual people aren’t. Bisexuality is just as valid of a sexuality as homosexual or heterosexual orientations. All it means is that we like men and women! It’s as simple as that.
And that does NOT make us selfish. Our sexuality has nothing to do with whether we are selfish or not. We don’t want “the best of both worlds.” That’s like saying you’re selfish for liking all sorts of different kinds of food!
(Plus, bisexuality isn’t always just about two genders. It just means one is attracted to at least two.)
3. In queer relationships, there is always a “masculine” person and a “feminine” person.
First of all, what in the hell does that even mean?!
Queer people are fully rounded people that aren’t limited to gender stereotypes the same way that hetero relationships aren’t.
They are people who love each other. End of story.
4. Queer people don’t commit or are more promiscuous.
Literally the only difference between queer people and straight people is their sexual orientation.
Plenty of queer people are in monogamous relationships, and plenty aren’t.
Plenty of straight people are in monogamous relationships, and plenty aren’t.
We’re just as likely to want an emotional connection with someone as any straight person!
5. Gay people are attracted to everyone of the same sex.
I was once told that I should be worried about a lesbian girl because she might “want” me. I was twelve.
When I asked how that’s any different from boys “wanting” me, she didn’t know what to say.
Just like straight people, gay people (and bi people) are attracted to certain people and not others.
Being attracted to both men and women doesn’t mean literally every human is someone we’d be interested in!
6. You can tell people are queer just by looking at them.
Plenty of straight people shave the sides of their head or wear tight clothes. It’s not really a “queer” thing anymore.
A lot of the time, people “pass” as straight because they look and sound like any old hetero person.
But you know what?
That’s because we don’t magically change our style the day we realize we’re queer!
For some people, queer culture is the only thing that was there for us when we were figuring ourselves out. For some, the queer community provided a sense of belonging that we wouldn’t have had without it. So sure, some people might want to express their sexuality through fashion. It could mean wearing clothes that challenge gender expectations or changing their appearances to do so.
But even then, plenty of straight people do this as well.
You can’t tell just by looking at all!
Check out the book “You Can Tell Just By Looking”: And 20 Other Myths About LGBT Life and People for more on this topic!
I hope these have been eye-opening or at least entertaining to read. If you ever hear people sharing these ideas, be sure to share what you’ve learned!
What’s one myth you know isn’t true? Share with me in the comments below!
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