Whew. March was a little stressful, but also finally more relaxing.
(You know, I really look forward to having tea with you every month. It’s such a nice way to pause and reflect on the last month.)
If we were having tea, I’d tell you that I actually succeeded in continuing to read!
Slowly, but surely, right? I’m reading two things at once, which I don’t normally do, but hey — Spiderman comics and Jane Eyre is quite the combination, if I do say so myself!
Plus I managed to read one of the two feminist books I bought myself last weekend. I’m keeping busy!
What have you been reading?
If we were having tea, I’d tell you that cats be crazy.
So, I know the new year has come and gone, and I already committed to starting fresh with big goals and exciting ideas, but geeez…
It’s gotten a bit tough.
Matrix started ripping my pictures and posters that I have hanging up for inspiration above my desk, he ate all the leftover kitten dry food in the cupboard (meanwhile, of course, G and I are so worried: why won’t he eat his wet food?!), and he’s learned to jump from the top of the fridge across to the counters opposite, right where we have our dish rack.
Cats, I tell ya.
If we were having tea, I’d tell you that Spring Break was a freaking godsend.
If I believed in that kind of stuff.
I mean, I know I am a substitute teacher, and that means I don’t take a whole lot of work home at all.
But I’ve been working my butt off for the past two months, to get ahead on the blog and keep it up. I felt like I was going full sprint towards the Easter long weekend, and then I hadn’t quite finished screeching to a halt until the middle of Spring Break the following week!
The last week of March/first week of April was a much-needed break filled with reading, cuddling Matrix, lovely walks outside, and colouring. (I don’t know why everyone thinks “adult colouring books” are a waste of time. I mean, I have kid colouring books too… and I even found some feminist ones! #adulting)
If we were having tea, I’d tell you that I’m set for summer!
Not in the fun way — I don’t have any big trips planned besides maybe going home to visit my family — but in the not-going-to-starve-to-death sort of way. (Yay!)
I was originally planning on trying to save a whole bunch so I can take both July and August off to focus on blogging, or maybe try to get a summer teaching job like I did last year. (As much as I don’t want the work, I do want the money.)
But a couple weeks ago, I was offered what seems like the perfect summer job for me! One of the assistant principals at a junior high I sub at a lot asked me if I’d be interested in teaching a three week program, likely in my specialities: drama and English.
I’ve been hesitant about teaching drama lately because honestly, kids don’t care about it until high school, but it would be such a small program that the kids who are in the class will probably want to be there.
So it sounded perfect.
Then I hesitated because the pay is a little less than I would get if I taught summer school. But here’s the AMAZING icing on the cake: no marking.
And recently, I heard there might not even much planning — apparently there’s a binder of plans to choose from, so all I’d need to do is just organize what I do when. That’s not confirmed, but…
Three weeks and only a little less than I’d make teaching summer school — without 20 hours a week of marking and possibly planning, too?
I think so.
(Hopefully I didn’t just jinx it by publishing this. Fingers crossed!)
If we were having tea, I’d tell you that lately I’ve been feeling more and more sure of what I’m doing with the blog.
As in, I am very sure that this is what I want.
Recently, I got a little upset (okay, very upset) because during my Spring Break, G had to work his butt off since it’s the end of semester. We had two days to sort-of hang out, and I pretty much wasted them because I didn’t realize how little time we had.
Most of the time, our lives are actually pretty separate. I go to work in the morning, he stays at home working all day or in class, and when I come home we take a brief break, then work until we have to cook, then work some more after, hopefully with enough time to watch a show or read before bed, but often not.
With my new blogging schedule of only 10-12 hours a week, I have more time to relax in between, but he doesn’t. We really only have maybe one hour to properly hang out each day.
I mean, what’s the point of living like that?!
At this stage of our lives, we’re making sacrifices to make our futures easier. But when I go into staff rooms and see teachers that clearly hate their lives, I just feel more sure that I don’t want to be like them. I know that full-time teaching isn’t what I want right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever want it.
What I do want is a life that I don’t need a vacation from. I get it — work is always work. But if you really aren’t happy going to work… why are you still there?! Why do you feel obligated to stay?
For lots of people, it’s because it feels too late to make a change. I understand that. It’s part of why I want to address this early in my life.
But truly? I don’t believe that’s true.
Maybe I’m an idealistic young kid, but I watched my dad pull himself out from a life he hated. He worked a full-time job, hung out with his family, and completed his Bachelor’s degree in order to get the job he really wanted.
He started when he was fifty.
And the other day, I met a sub who has been working for the school board as a substitute teacher for 7 years. I was so shocked! My thought was, “You can do that?!”
It hadn’t even crossed my mind that I could just say no to full-time jobs and not be concerned about what people think.
I’ve been so worried that saying no would mean ending my career. But he gets so much work!
Both he and my dad are happy with their lives, and they started at completely different ages and places.
It really feels like the only person making me feel trapped was me.
Now I am determined to make this dream of mine come true: I want to work from home, for myself. I’d love to maybe travel to teach kids about feminism, gender, and sexuality, or be part of the education system in some way that isn’t teaching but sharing about these topics. I want the freedom you don’t get as a full-time teacher.
I don’t care how long it takes.
Every day, I feel more sure that this is the right thing to do. Because as much work as it is for me, I don’t dread it the way I dread getting up in the morning to go to school. I love it.
And in order to make sure I keep loving it, I’ve decided to publish posts only twice a week now, starting with this one. This way, I’ll still write quality stuff, and do it right, instead of rushing through three posts a week just to get it out. Quality over quantity, right?
So I guess that’s how the spring season is going for me, so far. It’s inspired me to make some specific spring goals, and I’m more driven than ever.
Talk about new beginnings!
If we were having tea, I’d tell you that I have a new email!
I’d been struggling with the decision to make an email with my own domain name since I was anonymous, but since I revealed my first name I went for it!
My new email is firstname.lastname@example.org 🙂 be sure to shoot me a hello! As always, I’d love to hear from you.
If we were having tea, I’d finally shut up and ask you how your March was.
That was a pretty big rant on my part… your turn!